Sometimes Moms Need Hugs, Too

sunset-hands-love-womanI stopped working when my son was 10 ½ months old in the spring of 2010. However, I had resisted finding a real support network of moms until February 2012. I attended story times all over the area during that time (I live within easy driving distance of 7 local libraries). I took my kid to the child care room at the YMCA so I could do a bit of exercise and maybe even connect with moms in an exercise class.  I didn’t connect. My son and I joined Play & Learn through the school district. I joined a MOPS group that I did make some connections at; however, that was a once-per-month group that rarely met during the summer. I needed more. I needed more consistent contact so I could have actual friendships with other moms.

2 years and 8 months after my son was born. I walked into a meeting of a local chapter of MOMS Club International. I saw a few familiar faces from story times and the YMCA. A woman I’d never met before must’ve seen both how lost I looked and how wonderful it felt to be in a room with so many other moms with kids in tow. She recognized how much I desperately needed to be there. She gave me a hug and said welcome. She gave me a hug that I needed. She recognized me as a mom who needed other moms. I can’t tell you what my kid was doing. (I’m betting that he had already found a ride on car or tractor and was riding down a ramp.) This woman and the other moms welcomed me immediately. I hope that they saw the relief on my face that was communicating that I’d finally found the other moms I needed in my life.

2 years and 8 months after my son was born. I found other moms who stayed in the same place long enough to have conversations with each other. They did this many times a month.  They listened. They really listened. They supported each other. They did this both in the company of their kids and without. My mind was blown. Why hadn’t I had the confidence to inquire about the group prior to this? I had known about the group for a while. I’d seen a flyer with those little tear off slips at the YMCA on a bulletin board. I even tore off one of the slips. But I was stubborn. Very, very stubborn.

2 years and 8 months after my son was born. Another mom gave me a hug when I needed it most. I joined that club immediately. I haven’t looked back. My closest mom friends in town are from this MOMS Club.

7 years and 2 months after my son was born. The mom who gave me a hug that day is a good friend. She made us take awesome cookies with us when we left her house this week.

If you are a mom looking for other moms, sometimes you have to put aside being stubborn or trying to go it alone. Find your village. Find your tribe. Find those you click with. It took me nearly 2 years after starting to be an at home mom to find a group. I hope it doesn’t take you as long as it took me.

If you’re looking for places to make connections, a great place to start is Madison Mamas’ list and also the MMB Neighborhood Groups list. Don’t be stubborn. Connect with other moms.

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