While I was pregnant, I often found myself being on the receiving end of conversations about how lucky I was to be expecting and how easy motherhood was. Seeing these moms with their perfect hair and perfect delivery room photos made me not worry at all and welcomed motherhood with all the free, relaxing time and wonderful moments that everyone else boasted about. Well honey, I was unprepared!
I do not want to sit here to say that I feel that everyone fabricated a little bit, because for those that have had wonderful experiences, I do not want to take that joy away, but for those that found themselves in the same or a similar situation as myself, thinking that all those people must have really exaggerated their mommy times, it will be okay! I started sharing a few of my experiences and tips on Facebook, which if they did not help at all, at least provided a good chuckle for a few of my friends. Here are some new mommy tips, hacks, and suggestions that I have experienced that are helping me deal with this wonderful, life-changing moment.
1. No, you cannot die from not sleeping. I asked the doctor this on my third visit. Our little girl was losing weight and we needed to supplement so often went back for weight checks. I was so tired that I thought it was a very important question. If you couple not sleeping with not eating (which let’s be honest, who has not forgotten if they ate lunch or breakfast while caring for an infant) then it can become a problem, but those sleepless nights will just make you tired then a little crazy, but other than that, you’ll be A-OK!
2. Invest in ponytail holders, hair ties, hair bands, you can even use rubber bands if you get desperate…ALL THE TIME. My child offers hair-thinning anytime my locks are down, so to avoid that pain and unwanted hair removal, make sure to keep it out of arms reach.
3. I thought I was smart that I removed socks before changing a #2 diaper…. REMOVE. ALL. CLOTHING. Not sure how it gets in certain places, but it does so better to be safe than sorry, while avoiding extra loads of laundry.
4. Growth spurts oftentimes mean a lot of crying, sleepless nights, and more crying. When you have gone through the “list” of checks, be aware that it could be a growth spurt. Remember, your child does love you!
5. I absolutely love my car BUT…. When you are driving alone with your baby in the back seat and she starts to scream bloody murder and you decide that the only way to get her to stop is to sing Britney Spears’ Womanizer and Circus (because that’s what popped in your head 1st) while literally dancing in the driver’s seat and making the silliest faces because you swear your child can see them… All the while the man in the car next to you is staring at you in the strangest way because your back seat windows are tinted BUT THE FRONT ARE NOT!!! Long story short, TINT YOUR FRONT WINDOWS!!!!
6. Invest in bibs. Buy the kind of bibs that have the thick back. Not sure where all the drool comes from, but it is never-ending.
7. If you cannot remember if you brushed your teeth this morning (or afternoon), it does happen to everyone and it doesn’t hurt to do it again.
8. If you’re a mommy that has gone back to work, its okay… your co-workers will quickly begin to understand your baby talk, baby voice, potty time explanations, and over done facial expressions. It will become a part of your weekly staff meetings.
9. We will all deal with potty time in the bath tub at one point or another. Please remain unalarmed, remove your child with a towel (it can be washed and cleaned) and pour the remains in the nearest toilet. DO NOT….. scream– causing your child to cry, cry out for your own mother – causing your child to cry more, look at your child disgustedly and yell “ewe” – causing your child to now cry with real tears, start yelling for “help” – causing more crying from your child, or try to remember what cabinet your colander or strainer is in.
10. BABY BRAIN IS A REAL THING AND LASTS BEFORE AND AFTER BIRTH!!! And, possibly years after.