Let’s Be Real

As I write this, I am sitting on my couch in complete mental and physical exhaustion.  My two-year-old twins are going through a difficult phase right now where everything is upsetting and the meltdowns are lasting for what seems like forever.  And when one gets over their meltdown, the other one starts.   Have I mentioned that I am exhausted?

Before you stop reading, I promise the point of this post isn’t to complain or vent.  Although, I think it can sometimes help.  The point of this post is to be real with you.  My life is not perfect and my children aren’t perfect.  Social media definitely does not help in this area.  I think social media sometimes makes us feel like we have to be “perfect” because everyone else seems to be.  I sit down, scroll through Facebook or pull up my Instagram, and what do I see?  Happy, smiling, perfect children who play happily with their siblings, eat their dinners, and do super cute things.  I’m not trying to make anyone feel bad, because I’m the same way!  I usually have to take 5-10 pictures before I actually get the “perfect” one I can post on Facebook.  But after a rough day or evening, I find myself looking at the pictures on Facebook and wondering,  “what am I doing wrong?” My girls fight, they have meltdowns, they don’t eat their dinners, and I often bribe them with M&Ms to try to use the potty and get their jammies on.

My real but “perfect” life which I posted on Facebook (girls after 8 pictures)…

More often than not, my reality (which I rarely, ok never, put on Facebook)…

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Please don’t misunderstand me, because I love social media.  I love staying connected to friends, and I love seeing happy pictures of their kids growing up.  But what if we gave snapshots of the rest of our lives, and not just the “perfect” parts.  Our lives aren’t always perfect, even though it may seem like it to others.  I’d love to share an example of how being real with one another really made a difference for me.  I have this friend that stays at home with her three kids, and every time I see pictures of them or visit, they seem perfect!  They are well behaved, they sleep through the night, etc.  Well, one day, I saw her husband in the church parking lot, and I asked about my friend and the kids.  He said that they didn’t make it to church because one of the kids was having a meltdown and a rough morning so she stayed home with them.  This little thing (something that my friend probably didn’t even realize what he was doing for me) totally rocked my world.  I felt this HUGE sense of relief knowing that my friend with “perfect” children struggled too.  If her children had tantrums and meltdowns, then I wasn’t alone!

When something is hard, we cope best by having others who are right there with us.  We want to talk with people who have gone through it or are going through it currently.  Well, being a mom (and parent) is REALLY hard. In fact, I think most of us would say it’s the hardest job out there.  We are in the trenches daily doing the most important job we have.  Do we love it?  Yes.  But is it super hard and sometimes we question whether we can make it one more day?  Yes.  Let’s start being real with each other more often.  Let’s come together as moms and embrace the “perfect imperfections” of our lives.

2 Responses to Let’s Be Real

  1. Andrea May 6, 2014 at 12:00 pm #

    Thanks for this.. sometimes we need to remember that what we see or perceive may not always be reality. I think my favorite mom blogs are the ones that show that side. It makes them more relatable, more real.. I have two girls ages 5 and 3 and my world is far from but I should remember to put my “real” self out there more often too. Thanks for the encouraging words and to know we aren’t alone 🙂

  2. Tara
    Tara May 6, 2014 at 3:45 pm #

    Wonderful post Melissa! I think showing our struggles or “imperfection” makes us feel vulnerable and that is a hard thing to do. Also we are always our own worst critics. What looks messy and bad to us often looks “perfect” to others. Like when I have gone out of the house with messy hair yoga pants and in need of a shower and someone says “wow, you look great” and I am thinking “Are you nuts?”. 🙂

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